The Mother in-Law’s Manual

If I were Queen, I would arrange for every about-to-be-groom to gift THE MOTHER-IN-LAW’S MANUAL to his mother before the wedding.  But I have not had a clue about how to reach what I think of as “the dude market.”  I am often invited to speak to women 45-65, and as I talk, women start nodding with understanding and may buy multiple copies of the book for family and friends. …but no young man has, at least from me directly, appeared to buy a single copy of the book, and no group of young men has yet invited me to speak.  We don’t know each other.

Thanks to an article by Vincent Mallozzi in this morning’s (5/10/09) New York Times, I now know where grooms gather, at least online.  A smart guy named Michael Arnot  founded the website GroomGrove.com with the intention of getting marriages “started on the right foot.”  My hope is to get mothers-in-law started on the right foot…something I thought would be a piece of cake for me until I found myself a bit left-footed.

It’s a great idea to help young men become partners in planning their weddings since partnership is what, I think, makes marriage happier and easier, but there can still be mother-issues.

We mothers are used to playing leading lady.  Unlike the work world, no one calls us in and says, great job but you are being downsized. Now you have a terrific, interesting character part, and the script is different. I hope THE MOTHER-IN-LAW’S MANUAL helps women understand the shift. I needed the help, and I know from scores of interview that lots of terrific women are challenged by the mother-in-law role.

The Times article mentionned another site that’s a delight.  Mike Harms blogs on grumpygroom.com, and although I am neither a groom nor a guy (but, perhaps, sometimes grumpy), I loved reading Harms’ musings.

If I want young men to buy THE MOTHER-IN-LAW’S MANUAL for their moms, moms might want to buy The Guy’s Guide to Dating, Getting Hitched and Surviving the First Year of Marriage by MIchael Criner that was mentionned in the same article.  Hey, we all need all the good advice and wisdom we can get. Life is good but sometimes it is also just crazy, especially when we are talking on roles we have never played before.