The Mother in-Law’s Manual

BOOK CALLED THE MOTHER-in-LAW’S MANUAL?

Our children are grown.  Independent.   Solvent.  Drug Free.  Indeed, they are now married and buying houses.  My parenting problems, I thought, were DONE.

Who knew that there was an entire new learning curve waiting just around the corner—this mother-in-law manual?

When the children were growing up, I took advantage of all the parenting books that gave me good advice, insights and compassion.  Reading and talking with other mothers helped me re-frame my perspectives and try more effective strategies.  But when I went looking for help in being a great mother-in-law, I found that, mostly, mothers-in-law are treated as jokes or toxic terrors.  I’m no joke nor am I toxic!

The MOTHER-IN-LAW’S MANUAL was written to offer the wisdom, insights and shared experiences I needed for myself and, in interviewing, found other women wanting as well.  Women all over the country shared their hopes, their disappointments, their frustrations and their learning. It was such a joy to have these conversations and in the listening and the writing, there was, for me, so much learning.

POINT OF VIEW

When the children were growing up, their unhappiness seemed very much my problem.

It would be convenient now to make my happiness my children’s problem, but there is no turn-about-is-fair-play here.  Being a good mother-in-law is my work to do just as being a good mother was my work.  The problem seems to be that I am not the only one who gets to define what a “good” mother-in-law is, and what they think matters more than what I think.

After a year of interviews, I believe the place to begin unraveling the mother-in-law challenge is in understanding expectations.

The second chapter of THE MOTHER-in-LAW’S MANUAL is all about expectations. I don’t think there are rules for mothers-in-law. We are all different, and our children and their partners are different, but seven mother-in-law maxims came into focus as I talked with all sorts of mothers and mothers-in law.  These are explored in chapter three.

THE MOTHER-in-LAW’S MANUAL will be available in
May, 2009.

WHO will enjoy this book?

Is your child getting married?  This book is for you.
Do you struggle with your son or daughter’s spouse?  This book is for you?
Want to be happier connecting to your married children?  This book is for     you.
Think things are okay but want them better?  This book is for you.
See many middle aged women in your therapy practice?  This book is for you.
Do you marry young people and work with families?  This book is for you.
Have friends whose married children make them miserable?  This book is for them.
Know women who need to relax with their married children?  This book is for them.
Have a mom you love and want her to love your spouse?  This book is for her.
Want to know how your mother-in-law feels?  This book is for you.
Are you a comedian who tells MIL jokes?  I’m throwing this book at you.

This is a great gift for mother’s day with a note that says, “We are glad you are ours.”  It
s it perfect for sons about to marry to gift to their moms or for husbands to share with their anxious wives.

If you are interested in receiving a note when the book is just released, send email to motherinlaw@lieberman.net and we’ll put you on the early notification list.

LAUGH, LEARN and EARN

If you want to help your organization earn some money by offering THE MOTHER-in-LAW MANUAL to your members, we’d love to help you.  Send us email  at motherinlaw@lieberman.com.  Bright Sky Press would be pleased to work with you and, perhaps, to arrange to have Susan Lieberman speak with your members.